Before any of us can come to Christ, we must first reach a point that we realize we need Him. It is so easy for us to go through life and believe that we "really aren't that bad". This belief is perpetuated by our ability to compare our self to other people, judging them, and thereby justifying our actions because we just aren't as bad as the other person. This is foolishness, but this is what we do.
A Christian is someone who accepts Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. These terms are sadly used so loosely that what they really mean is lost in ambiguity. People profess themselves to be a Christian just because they believe in Jesus and God. This is not what it means to be a Christian, but it is this pretense that allows nearly 85% of Americans to profess themselves Christians. They don't know what they are professing, and are using the name of the Lord God in vain.
Let us define these words, and examine the truth behind the declaration of a Lord and Savior. The concept of a lord is lost to us today, but the concept is still easily defined. Webster defines lord as : a ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due. Jesus preeminence is clearly defined in John 1:1-3:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.
Again and more clearly in Colossians 1:9-18:
For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
His preeminence is the right to which all service and obedience are due Him. It is not the FACT of Jesus lordship that is questionable, but rather our subjection to His lordship. Webster defines a subject as: one that is placed under authority or control: as b (1): one subject to a monarch and governed by the monarch's law (2): one who lives in the territory of, enjoys the protection of, and owes allegiance to a sovereign power or state. If Jesus Christ is Lord of our lives, then when He says jump, we ask how high. If Jesus is our Lord, then we are in turn His subjects. If we declare that Jesus is Lord, yet continue to do as we please in direct rebellion to His command, then we are liars. It is an oxymoron for a subject to tell his lord "No". Once again the rules of logic say that either He is Lord, hence we are obedient, or He is not, and we do as we please.
The second part of being a Christian is accepting Jesus as Savior. Well... First of all we need to realize we need a savior. If we believe the lie that we are just fine, since we aren't as bad as the next guy, then we can never see the truth of our own sin. We must come to accept the FACT that WE ARE sinners. We are wretched at the core, and the sin that is within us brings great pain and destruction not only in our own lives, but also in the lives around us. For most of us, our stubborn pride will not allow us to reach this point, yet alone comprehend it.
I used to believe that I had to be strong. I used to believe that I just had to "man up" and push my way through. I used to believe that I was a "self made man". I used to believe that I didn't need God, because I was just fine without Him. It was only after I realized that my best wasn't good enough to achieve the dreams I had for my life, that I realized I couldn't do it in my own power. I realized that at my best I still hurt the ones I loved. At my best, I still failed to be the man my family needed me to be. It was ONLY when I accepted that I was a sinner, that I continuously fell short of the mark, that I came to terms with the FACT that I need a savior. So it is with all of us.
Only those who the Father draws can come to Jesus, and only those who Jesus chooses to reveal the Father to can come to know the Father. God loves us so much, that He will do what must be done for us to get on our knees and return to Him. He is life, and without Him we are dead. Out of His great love for us, He will not let us remain in our sin. What an awesome God we serve!
No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.
- John 6:44
All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.
- Matthew 11:27
I pray fervently that if any of us are living a lie, professing to be a Christian when it is quite obvious we have not subjected our self to His Lordship, that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction and that we will desire to be at peace with our Lord.
Showing posts with label Time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Time. Show all posts
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
My Testimony (Part 7)
I KNEW that God was answering my prayer to make me that man that my wife and kids needed me to be. Every day I rested in this fact, and I watched for the opportunities to continue to grow. I did not know that I was going to be going to prison, but I KNEW that God was performing His will. I KNEW that I wanted whatever needed to be done in order for me to become the man my family needed me to be. Sure... I wanted to go home, but not if I wasn't ready. What good would that do me? If I needed to go to prison in order for my prayer to be answered, then I was ready to go to prison. I KNEW that EVERYTHING that had happened in my life to this point, and that would happen, was for the best.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28
I thought I might go home, because I already felt like there had been many deep changes within me. When I saw Judge Neville, he sent me to prison though. When I went back to the holding cell, I danced. I trusted God completely, and I was excited to see what He had in store for me. The rest of the time in county, before I went to prison, everyone was just amazed that I was going to prison. Even the Deputies did not expect to see me have to go to prison, yet alone with a smile. God had blessed me though with great faith, comfort, and had destroyed all fear.
Once I got to RDU, my zeal and hope did not waiver. God continued to reveal Him self to me in mighty ways. My wife and I still argued horribly on the phone, and we could hardly even talk to each other. I felt so bad, and I just wanted to make things right, but I had hurt her so bad that there was no trust left. I would try to share things with her that I was beginning to understand and see, but they rightfully fell on deaf ears. I didn't deserve her respect, attention, nor trust.
The weight of my guilt for what I had done to my wife and my kids almost destroyed me. While I was in RDU though, God opened the book of Jeremiah to me. In this book, God's absolute sovereignty is portrayed in undeniable words. As God gave me understanding about His sovereignty, He showed me that in order for me to be where I was in that moment it required me to endure all of the things I had experienced over the course of my life.
All of the pain I had endured. All of the heart ache I had felt. All of the failures I had made. All of the pain I had caused. God showed me that just as all of these experiences were necessary for me to become who I was, such experiences are just as necessary in other people's lives. With this understanding He gave me this analogy in vivid detail.
I was driving my car down the road, and I continued to run over mailboxes. I felt so bad because I had done so much damage to other people's mailboxes. All the pain I had caused was just gut wrenching. I got over into the passenger seat, and asked Jesus to take the wheel. As He did, as I surrendered my will to Him because I did not want to hurt anyone anymore, I cried. I felt so bad for all of the pain I had caused, and I was guilty. I knew I had done it by trying to do things my way, and I felt so bad for what I had done. Jesus looked at me, and told me that I was forgiven. He told me that He had bore the shame and pain of the cross that I would not have to bare the guilt. He then told me that the mailboxes I had ran over needed to be replaced anyways. Nothing happens on accident, and God does not waste anything. It is through pain and trials that we grow, and Jesus would use my failures to shape those whom I had harmed. I knew that as long as He was driving, His will was being done instead of mine, that I would not be hitting anymore mailboxes. I did not want to hurt anyone ever again, but the guilt of what I had done was gone. God was in control, and God is good.
From this point forward I no longer have had to bare the guilt of what I did in my sin. I had repented, in truth, and I was forgiven. The repentance was genuine, for I never wanted, nor want, to repeat the things that I have done. Though I had been forgiven, and the weight of the guilt lifted, it did not automatically make things right with those I had hurt. I quit trying to share these things with my wife, for we were not at a place where we could share meaningful conversations. I had nothing to prove to anyone, and ONLY the consistent actions of love and time could heal what I had done. I continued to press forward, and I thanked God for the wisdom and understanding He had given me.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28
I thought I might go home, because I already felt like there had been many deep changes within me. When I saw Judge Neville, he sent me to prison though. When I went back to the holding cell, I danced. I trusted God completely, and I was excited to see what He had in store for me. The rest of the time in county, before I went to prison, everyone was just amazed that I was going to prison. Even the Deputies did not expect to see me have to go to prison, yet alone with a smile. God had blessed me though with great faith, comfort, and had destroyed all fear.
Once I got to RDU, my zeal and hope did not waiver. God continued to reveal Him self to me in mighty ways. My wife and I still argued horribly on the phone, and we could hardly even talk to each other. I felt so bad, and I just wanted to make things right, but I had hurt her so bad that there was no trust left. I would try to share things with her that I was beginning to understand and see, but they rightfully fell on deaf ears. I didn't deserve her respect, attention, nor trust.
The weight of my guilt for what I had done to my wife and my kids almost destroyed me. While I was in RDU though, God opened the book of Jeremiah to me. In this book, God's absolute sovereignty is portrayed in undeniable words. As God gave me understanding about His sovereignty, He showed me that in order for me to be where I was in that moment it required me to endure all of the things I had experienced over the course of my life.
All of the pain I had endured. All of the heart ache I had felt. All of the failures I had made. All of the pain I had caused. God showed me that just as all of these experiences were necessary for me to become who I was, such experiences are just as necessary in other people's lives. With this understanding He gave me this analogy in vivid detail.
I was driving my car down the road, and I continued to run over mailboxes. I felt so bad because I had done so much damage to other people's mailboxes. All the pain I had caused was just gut wrenching. I got over into the passenger seat, and asked Jesus to take the wheel. As He did, as I surrendered my will to Him because I did not want to hurt anyone anymore, I cried. I felt so bad for all of the pain I had caused, and I was guilty. I knew I had done it by trying to do things my way, and I felt so bad for what I had done. Jesus looked at me, and told me that I was forgiven. He told me that He had bore the shame and pain of the cross that I would not have to bare the guilt. He then told me that the mailboxes I had ran over needed to be replaced anyways. Nothing happens on accident, and God does not waste anything. It is through pain and trials that we grow, and Jesus would use my failures to shape those whom I had harmed. I knew that as long as He was driving, His will was being done instead of mine, that I would not be hitting anymore mailboxes. I did not want to hurt anyone ever again, but the guilt of what I had done was gone. God was in control, and God is good.
From this point forward I no longer have had to bare the guilt of what I did in my sin. I had repented, in truth, and I was forgiven. The repentance was genuine, for I never wanted, nor want, to repeat the things that I have done. Though I had been forgiven, and the weight of the guilt lifted, it did not automatically make things right with those I had hurt. I quit trying to share these things with my wife, for we were not at a place where we could share meaningful conversations. I had nothing to prove to anyone, and ONLY the consistent actions of love and time could heal what I had done. I continued to press forward, and I thanked God for the wisdom and understanding He had given me.
Monday, December 10, 2012
View
There are two fundamental views of the world, and our existence. Either there is a God, and He created everything, or there is no God, and everything created itself. Depending on our view, we will see and understand things accordingly. The world view is surely different from that of a Christian, but even many who profess to be Christian do not truly believe or understand what it is they are professing.
If there is no God, and everything just created itself out of nothing, then there is no such thing as truth, right, wrong, integrity, nor purpose. We have no purpose in this life. We are simply blips in an infinite cycle of nothing, creating itself and destroying itself for no apparent reason and to no apparent end. We have the brief period of our life span to party like a rock star, go until the wheels come off, and no consequences for anything we do in this life. There are no parameters, nor moral obligation aside from that which we impose upon our self, and nobody to be accountable to unless we get CAUGHT breaking some man imposed law which is arbitrary at best since right and wrong are only a matter of perception and open to change.
Under this belief system, there are no true answers to real problems. We can come up with our own solutions based on our desires and assumptions. We take our problem, and we search for an answer we like. This implies we aren't really looking for the answer, since it may not only exist outside of what we "like", but it may exist outside of what we believe. After all, if we knew everything, then we wouldn't be looking for answers in the first place.
Under this belief system, there is nothing after this life, so there is no purpose to things we experience. If stuff just happens, just because, then there is no understanding to seek. Everything that nothing created, when "nothing exploded", is just on a random course of nothingness, so we had better cover our butt and watch out for number one. After all, we only have less than 100 years to exist, so we had better get the most out of it because... Because why? We won't remember it when we die under this belief system. We just return to nothingness, and become "one" with the caprice and wanton universe as it continues to randomly created and destroy itself whenever "nothing" gets tired of doing something.
Under this belief system, there are no concrete answers. There are no absolutes, and nobody has "the answer", because that too is only a matter of perception. We seek marriage counseling, family counseling, personal counseling, life counseling, and yet to no avail. The world system is based on this belief system. What is right to you, may not be what is right to me, so there is no right. That means we all need to get together, a democracy, and have as many people as possible put their opinion of what is right out there until we have some kind of a majority rule on the subject. This system worked well in Nazi Germany in the 1940's. The majority conceded that it was "right" to perform mass genocide, so they did. And why not? There is no price to pay for what we do. We are nothing after all, so who is really effected and who cares about how someone else, who is "nothing", feels? Why should we care?
If there is a God, then we were created on purpose, for a reason. That means there are such things as truth, right, wrong, integrity, and purpose because they are based on the Creator's own opinion on the different subjects. The Creator would be the source of all of these things, since it is Him we came from. There are different ideas of what the existence of God means, but most of the different opinions are derived from either lack of logic or lack of knowledge.
80% of America "claims" to be Christian and believe in God. Most people think that God exists, created everything, but that He has no involvement in everyday life. Kinda like He is doing a complete "hands off" project to see how everything works out. Like a science experiment. This logic is flawed, because if in fact there is a God, then that would have to mean that He exists outside of all things created. This would inevitably include time, which would mean that the end result of His creation is not unknown to Him. In fact, God's existence outside of time would even imply that the purpose and end of His creation was determined before time began. The Bible very clearly addresses this fact as predestination, and the world accepts the ideas of destiny and fate accordingly. If God doesn't exist outside of all things created, then that would mean that He too was created, which would mean that He is not God, and that there is even one greater since there must be some sort of origin.
Webster's defines God as:
capitalized: the supreme or ultimate reality: as
If there is no God, and everything just created itself out of nothing, then there is no such thing as truth, right, wrong, integrity, nor purpose. We have no purpose in this life. We are simply blips in an infinite cycle of nothing, creating itself and destroying itself for no apparent reason and to no apparent end. We have the brief period of our life span to party like a rock star, go until the wheels come off, and no consequences for anything we do in this life. There are no parameters, nor moral obligation aside from that which we impose upon our self, and nobody to be accountable to unless we get CAUGHT breaking some man imposed law which is arbitrary at best since right and wrong are only a matter of perception and open to change.
Under this belief system, there are no true answers to real problems. We can come up with our own solutions based on our desires and assumptions. We take our problem, and we search for an answer we like. This implies we aren't really looking for the answer, since it may not only exist outside of what we "like", but it may exist outside of what we believe. After all, if we knew everything, then we wouldn't be looking for answers in the first place.
Under this belief system, there is nothing after this life, so there is no purpose to things we experience. If stuff just happens, just because, then there is no understanding to seek. Everything that nothing created, when "nothing exploded", is just on a random course of nothingness, so we had better cover our butt and watch out for number one. After all, we only have less than 100 years to exist, so we had better get the most out of it because... Because why? We won't remember it when we die under this belief system. We just return to nothingness, and become "one" with the caprice and wanton universe as it continues to randomly created and destroy itself whenever "nothing" gets tired of doing something.
Under this belief system, there are no concrete answers. There are no absolutes, and nobody has "the answer", because that too is only a matter of perception. We seek marriage counseling, family counseling, personal counseling, life counseling, and yet to no avail. The world system is based on this belief system. What is right to you, may not be what is right to me, so there is no right. That means we all need to get together, a democracy, and have as many people as possible put their opinion of what is right out there until we have some kind of a majority rule on the subject. This system worked well in Nazi Germany in the 1940's. The majority conceded that it was "right" to perform mass genocide, so they did. And why not? There is no price to pay for what we do. We are nothing after all, so who is really effected and who cares about how someone else, who is "nothing", feels? Why should we care?
If there is a God, then we were created on purpose, for a reason. That means there are such things as truth, right, wrong, integrity, and purpose because they are based on the Creator's own opinion on the different subjects. The Creator would be the source of all of these things, since it is Him we came from. There are different ideas of what the existence of God means, but most of the different opinions are derived from either lack of logic or lack of knowledge.
80% of America "claims" to be Christian and believe in God. Most people think that God exists, created everything, but that He has no involvement in everyday life. Kinda like He is doing a complete "hands off" project to see how everything works out. Like a science experiment. This logic is flawed, because if in fact there is a God, then that would have to mean that He exists outside of all things created. This would inevitably include time, which would mean that the end result of His creation is not unknown to Him. In fact, God's existence outside of time would even imply that the purpose and end of His creation was determined before time began. The Bible very clearly addresses this fact as predestination, and the world accepts the ideas of destiny and fate accordingly. If God doesn't exist outside of all things created, then that would mean that He too was created, which would mean that He is not God, and that there is even one greater since there must be some sort of origin.
Webster's defines God as:
capitalized: the supreme or ultimate reality: as
a: the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe.
Under this belief system we will all face our Maker one day. We will all be held accountable for the things we do in this life, and that there is an after life. Right and wrong are absolutes, and our conscience attests to this. We are more than able to sear our conscience that we may justify the things we want, but we each know the difference between right and wrong because God has given us a remnant of His Spirit. Everything we do has an end and purpose.
Under this belief system there are concrete answers to every question we seek the answer to, and the only inhibitor to us finding the answer is our willingness to look outside of what we want or believe. A person's acceptance of this belief system varies only because of our desire to keep God isolated in certain area's of our lives. Of course this is a fallacy, since if God truly is God, then how can that which is made hide any part of itself from Him who did the making? We are so foolish in our logic on the subject.
I have been asked not to talk about God so much. I have been ridiculed because I think God has something to do with everything. Is this really so silly? By very definition God is EVERYTHING. There is NOTHING more supreme, or beyond Him, or He is not God. So many people try to put God in a box, apply restraint and limitations to Him, and then still call Him God. What!?!? Where is the logic behind that one? The "supreme or ultimate reality" does NOT fit in any box we can conjure up ourselves, or He is not God. Period! How I wish people would take the time to assess what they really believe.
I believe the Bible is the infallible word of God, and I believe that God created everything for His own glory. Not out of obligation, but simply just because He wanted to. I believe God owes us nothing, for who are we compared to Him that He should even pay heed to us? I believe God has placed eternity in our hearts to give us a longing for Him, and that despite our finite existence to such an infinite being that we are His greatest treasures and He loves us.
This being said, I believe that EVERY single thing is of Him, through Him, and to Him. I also believe that God's purpose in our lives is to mold us into the image of Christ. Being humble, nonjudgmental, honest, living in truth, trusting in God entirely, living for others in the name of love, bold, fearless, and completely self-sacrificing is what brings God glory. This is what His desire and purpose is for us. To become His children, and become like His Son. Jesus Christ brings glory to God the Father.
It is with these beliefs that we are able to see things differently from the rest of the world. With this belief system, we confidently approach situations which arise in life knowing that NOTHING happens in vain. We are able to look at the trials and events in life, and see them through a different perspective. When something happens, it is for us to grow and become more like Christ. Keep this in mind Christian as you face each new day. Do not worry about the future, for God has it all ready figured out, but seek peace in your life by trusting in who He is. Faith, and every other principle of God's, goes entirely against the world system. God provided the answer to EVERY single problem by giving us Jesus Christ. Rest securely in that, and in Him, and do not let the poor logic and foolish pride of the world take away or distort such simple truth.
Monday, November 19, 2012
My Testimony (Part 5)
Making the choice to let go entirely of my hopes, dreams, desires, and life was difficult, but the application has been progressive. I knew that my life, as I knew, had just ended. I had no idea what lied ahead, but I knew it was necessary in order for me to become the man that my wife and kids needed me to be and I was willing to do whatever it took. I had made the choice and commitment to lay down my life, to die for my wife and kids, but now the application of such a commitment was revealed to me as a daily struggle.
I prayed and read more fervently than I had at any other point in my life. God was all I had now, and He had to deliver on His promises. He had to save me from the wretched man that I knew I was. God continued to reveal Jesus Christ to me. His love. His patience. His truth. His faithfulness. His confidence. His peace. His kindness. His forgiveness. His hope. His purpose. His discipline. His mercy. His clarity. If ever there was a man that was worth aspiring to be like, it is Jesus Christ. If I would trust God, be obedient, and follow Jesus in full surrender then I could aspire to be like Him. Jesus is the man I want to be like, and I will do whatever He tells me to do toward that end.
Though God used my family as the catalyst to bring me before Him in humility, He quickly showed me that my life was no longer driven by the things of this world. In fact, Jesus makes a very clear depiction of what was required in order for us to follow Him. In order for me to become the man I wanted so bad to be, I would indeed follow.
"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
-Luke 14:25-33
I was at a point in my life where I keenly understood this. As I was seeking the face of the Living God, my desires and fears continued to surface. The thoughts of my wife being with another man were gut wrenching, and the fears of losing her were so strong at times. I was faced with the very real fear of what if she doesn't like the fact that I live for God? What if she didn't like the man I was going to be? What if she didn't like the things I stood for? It was through these fears that Jesus' words carried such truth. I had to be willing to let her go. In fact, I had to be willing to lose her if that is what it came down to. I could not let my fears of what my wife might think keep me from pursuing what I knew must be. Without me learning to live like Jesus, then I could never love like Jesus, and I would be a fool to allow my fears to prevent me from chasing after such an amazing opportunity.
I understood this from a logical perspective too. If I didn't give my wife something to respect, by standing for something and not bending to her every whim, then she would obviously have nothing to respect. Not having a back bone and giving in to her every whim does not show my love for her. It is doing the right thing, in love, for the right reasons, regardless of if she wants me to or not that shows love. It is hard to do the right thing as long as fear has any foothold. I also knew that if my life was truly modeled after Jesus, in truth and deed, then my wife would want me to be that man. That is why she was so mad at me to begin with. I had miserably failed in all the areas where Jesus set a precedence.
From here on out, this was going to have to be all about Jesus. There was no other way. I could not worry about what my wife, kids, family, or friends were going to think. I was determined. God spoke to me with other verses that told me to keep my focus on Him and not be distracted by the things of the world.
"Look to Abraham your father, And to Sarah who bore you; For I called him alone, And blessed him and increased him.”
-Isaiah 51:2
"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
-Colossians 3:2-3
As I was struggling with this constant battle within me, I found something unique that I had never before fully understood. We have the ability to take absolute control over every single thought. I had spent so much of my life being ran by my thoughts and emotions, that it was quite a new experience to be able to be in complete control of every thought all the time. If there was any thought of fear or doubt, I was able to cast it down and continue upon the course of thought I so desired. This concept is addressed in numerous places, but to experience it is almost surreal.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."
-2 Corinthians 10:3-6
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
-Ephesians 6:12
For the first time in my life I understood the truth and application of these verses. The battle was being waged within me. The war was full swing, and I had been losing all of these years. Though I was in a fight for my very life, I had never known it. As the thoughts of doubt and fear would come crashing against me, using the people or things that I desired most, the truths of God were all I had to keep them at bay. The truth of God, as revealed in His word and through Jesus, were the only weapon to fight away the thoughts that threatened to defeat me.
"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
-Hebrews 4:12
"Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you."
-1 Timothy 4:15-16
With this clarity, I devoured the word of God and it brought me life. I quit trying to prove myself. I quit tying to sell myself. I quit trying to figure things out on my own. I knew that it was by my actions that people would see my progress, and my words had nothing to do with that. I was not doing this to prove anything to anyone. In fact, I knew very well that the direction of my life would come with great scorn. I would be estranged from many of the people I had previously associated with, and it was a very real possibility that even my wife would not support me. These things were very clear, and I accepted the cost in order to obtain what was offered.
"If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me."
-John 15:18-21
I knew well what I would go through to become the man God intended me to be, who my wife and kids need me to be. My life no longer mattered though, so I fought the battle the raged within. Relying entirely on God to protect me, to guide me, and to mold me into the man He made me to be. I prayed more, and I read more. Every word of God was relative to my life in some aspect, and I read with full expectation of God revealing His word to me. Oh how it cut and sliced through all the things I had learned and been taught. It required full surrender to be able to even see what God was saying, because what He says is always contrary to what the world says.
I prayed and read more fervently than I had at any other point in my life. God was all I had now, and He had to deliver on His promises. He had to save me from the wretched man that I knew I was. God continued to reveal Jesus Christ to me. His love. His patience. His truth. His faithfulness. His confidence. His peace. His kindness. His forgiveness. His hope. His purpose. His discipline. His mercy. His clarity. If ever there was a man that was worth aspiring to be like, it is Jesus Christ. If I would trust God, be obedient, and follow Jesus in full surrender then I could aspire to be like Him. Jesus is the man I want to be like, and I will do whatever He tells me to do toward that end.
Though God used my family as the catalyst to bring me before Him in humility, He quickly showed me that my life was no longer driven by the things of this world. In fact, Jesus makes a very clear depiction of what was required in order for us to follow Him. In order for me to become the man I wanted so bad to be, I would indeed follow.
"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
-Luke 14:25-33
I was at a point in my life where I keenly understood this. As I was seeking the face of the Living God, my desires and fears continued to surface. The thoughts of my wife being with another man were gut wrenching, and the fears of losing her were so strong at times. I was faced with the very real fear of what if she doesn't like the fact that I live for God? What if she didn't like the man I was going to be? What if she didn't like the things I stood for? It was through these fears that Jesus' words carried such truth. I had to be willing to let her go. In fact, I had to be willing to lose her if that is what it came down to. I could not let my fears of what my wife might think keep me from pursuing what I knew must be. Without me learning to live like Jesus, then I could never love like Jesus, and I would be a fool to allow my fears to prevent me from chasing after such an amazing opportunity.
I understood this from a logical perspective too. If I didn't give my wife something to respect, by standing for something and not bending to her every whim, then she would obviously have nothing to respect. Not having a back bone and giving in to her every whim does not show my love for her. It is doing the right thing, in love, for the right reasons, regardless of if she wants me to or not that shows love. It is hard to do the right thing as long as fear has any foothold. I also knew that if my life was truly modeled after Jesus, in truth and deed, then my wife would want me to be that man. That is why she was so mad at me to begin with. I had miserably failed in all the areas where Jesus set a precedence.
From here on out, this was going to have to be all about Jesus. There was no other way. I could not worry about what my wife, kids, family, or friends were going to think. I was determined. God spoke to me with other verses that told me to keep my focus on Him and not be distracted by the things of the world.
"Look to Abraham your father, And to Sarah who bore you; For I called him alone, And blessed him and increased him.”
-Isaiah 51:2
"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
-Colossians 3:2-3
As I was struggling with this constant battle within me, I found something unique that I had never before fully understood. We have the ability to take absolute control over every single thought. I had spent so much of my life being ran by my thoughts and emotions, that it was quite a new experience to be able to be in complete control of every thought all the time. If there was any thought of fear or doubt, I was able to cast it down and continue upon the course of thought I so desired. This concept is addressed in numerous places, but to experience it is almost surreal.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."
-2 Corinthians 10:3-6
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
-Ephesians 6:12
For the first time in my life I understood the truth and application of these verses. The battle was being waged within me. The war was full swing, and I had been losing all of these years. Though I was in a fight for my very life, I had never known it. As the thoughts of doubt and fear would come crashing against me, using the people or things that I desired most, the truths of God were all I had to keep them at bay. The truth of God, as revealed in His word and through Jesus, were the only weapon to fight away the thoughts that threatened to defeat me.
"For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
-Hebrews 4:12
"Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you."
-1 Timothy 4:15-16
With this clarity, I devoured the word of God and it brought me life. I quit trying to prove myself. I quit tying to sell myself. I quit trying to figure things out on my own. I knew that it was by my actions that people would see my progress, and my words had nothing to do with that. I was not doing this to prove anything to anyone. In fact, I knew very well that the direction of my life would come with great scorn. I would be estranged from many of the people I had previously associated with, and it was a very real possibility that even my wife would not support me. These things were very clear, and I accepted the cost in order to obtain what was offered.
"If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me."
-John 15:18-21
I knew well what I would go through to become the man God intended me to be, who my wife and kids need me to be. My life no longer mattered though, so I fought the battle the raged within. Relying entirely on God to protect me, to guide me, and to mold me into the man He made me to be. I prayed more, and I read more. Every word of God was relative to my life in some aspect, and I read with full expectation of God revealing His word to me. Oh how it cut and sliced through all the things I had learned and been taught. It required full surrender to be able to even see what God was saying, because what He says is always contrary to what the world says.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Don't Grow Up
For some of us mediocrity is sufficient, but for some of us we want more. Someone close to me asked me once why I couldn't just be normal. Well, I don't want anything to do with normal. I have been told I am unrealistic and that I am a dreamer. So, I am. I dream big, and I don't believe anything is impossible. I believe that my dreams are attainable, and that I need only assert myself.
I think one of the saddest things that happens as we become adults is that we "grow up". Granted, we must be responsible and mature, but "growing up" robs us of our imagination and hope. In fact, "growing up" is just another term for giving up. Why do we have to just accept that life is only going to be a certain way? How come we can't hold onto the silly child like hopes and dreams that make life worth living?
We tend to trade off the dreams of love, romance, heroism, purpose, service, and accomplishment for the sad daily grind of buying a car, a house, making the payments, and working a job that does nothing to push us to excel. "Growing up" is one of the worse things that ever happens to us.
We must take care of our responsibilities, but these "grown up" things should be the collateral part of our life. Our life should be about the dreaming, the loving, the living, and not about the "stuff". The "grown up" things should be there only to give support to the rest of life, not the other way around. How confused we are about what is important.
We spend hours and hours of time and energy working for the mighty dollar, and we justify the excessive amount of time we spend working by saying we are doing it for our children. I promise that none of us will ever look back on our lives and say that we wish we had spent more time working. In fact, I would be willing to bet that every single one of us will look back on our lives and say that we wish we had spent more time with our loved ones.
Time is the most priceless commodity we have, and we trade it off for dollars on the hour. We stress about those dollars, how to spend those dollars, how to make more of those dollars, and all the while the important things in life barely get the left overs.
We are too tired to play with our kids, too tired to rub our wife's feet, or too tired to have sex with our spouse. Are not these essential components to their relative relationships? Are not these relationships what life is about? Yet the important relationships are given way to the "grown up" worries.
My son recently asked me if it was bad for him to still have an imagination at his age, which happens to be eleven. I told him the saddest day will be when he loses it, and to use it till he can't imagine any more.
Life lies in our ability to dream, to love, and enjoy the small things. We need to remember as we go through our daily routines that it is only the relationships that are truly important. I have met some children that live in a below average income home that are ten times happier than some kids I have met in higher income brackets. Our children and spouses need our time, attention, and love. The "grown up" stuff should only be collateral.
Don't live in a box, and don't let the worries of the "grown up" stuff choke the life out of you. Dream, love, live, and give everything you have into sharing that hope and life with those around you. When we get home from work and we see those precious smiles... That is what life is about. Not the job. Not the car that got us home to them. Not the clothes that we cover our body with, or the shoes we put on our feet. They deserve everything we have to give, and our big dreams should have everything to do with them!
I think one of the saddest things that happens as we become adults is that we "grow up". Granted, we must be responsible and mature, but "growing up" robs us of our imagination and hope. In fact, "growing up" is just another term for giving up. Why do we have to just accept that life is only going to be a certain way? How come we can't hold onto the silly child like hopes and dreams that make life worth living?
We tend to trade off the dreams of love, romance, heroism, purpose, service, and accomplishment for the sad daily grind of buying a car, a house, making the payments, and working a job that does nothing to push us to excel. "Growing up" is one of the worse things that ever happens to us.
We must take care of our responsibilities, but these "grown up" things should be the collateral part of our life. Our life should be about the dreaming, the loving, the living, and not about the "stuff". The "grown up" things should be there only to give support to the rest of life, not the other way around. How confused we are about what is important.
We spend hours and hours of time and energy working for the mighty dollar, and we justify the excessive amount of time we spend working by saying we are doing it for our children. I promise that none of us will ever look back on our lives and say that we wish we had spent more time working. In fact, I would be willing to bet that every single one of us will look back on our lives and say that we wish we had spent more time with our loved ones.
Time is the most priceless commodity we have, and we trade it off for dollars on the hour. We stress about those dollars, how to spend those dollars, how to make more of those dollars, and all the while the important things in life barely get the left overs.
We are too tired to play with our kids, too tired to rub our wife's feet, or too tired to have sex with our spouse. Are not these essential components to their relative relationships? Are not these relationships what life is about? Yet the important relationships are given way to the "grown up" worries.
My son recently asked me if it was bad for him to still have an imagination at his age, which happens to be eleven. I told him the saddest day will be when he loses it, and to use it till he can't imagine any more.
Life lies in our ability to dream, to love, and enjoy the small things. We need to remember as we go through our daily routines that it is only the relationships that are truly important. I have met some children that live in a below average income home that are ten times happier than some kids I have met in higher income brackets. Our children and spouses need our time, attention, and love. The "grown up" stuff should only be collateral.
Don't live in a box, and don't let the worries of the "grown up" stuff choke the life out of you. Dream, love, live, and give everything you have into sharing that hope and life with those around you. When we get home from work and we see those precious smiles... That is what life is about. Not the job. Not the car that got us home to them. Not the clothes that we cover our body with, or the shoes we put on our feet. They deserve everything we have to give, and our big dreams should have everything to do with them!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Now what?
As we begin to see the destruction and pain that our own selfishness has spawned over the course of our lives, we should feel a great sense of remorse. This is a natural occurrence. If we are truly accepting accountability for the consequences of our actions, and if we care at all about those people we have hurt, then we should feel the burden of regret. Don'tm run from this, and do not minimize it in order to avoid the personal pain and reality of what we have done in our life. Yes... We are responsible, and yes we have hurt a great deal of people.
It is not our perception that is relevant at this point. It does not matter if we think we were right. It does not even matter if we were right. It does not matter if we can validate or justify our actions. This is a time of truth, reflection, and seeing things from another person's perspective. Here is a perfect example of our natural tendency...
A husband and wife, who obviously have made a commitment to love one another, often exhibit behavior that is damaging to one another. A man and a woman are so different from one another, that it requires great mutual effort in communication to continue to grow together. Since the woman DOES not think like her husband, he is going to have to be patient with her when trying to convey his thoughts and feelings. He may get frustrated though, maybe even angry, and may even say hurtful things to his wife. He might tell her she is dumb or that she just never gets it, and he may feel more than justified in feeling the way he does. He probably even believes that it is her that is the problem.
So far, this situation is subjective. We need to look at things objectively, in a simple matter of fact perspective. If we love someone, why would we ever want to belittle them and make them feel stupid? Yet alone tell them such! Isn't that an oxymoron? We do it all the time though, and don't even realize it. This is a toxic situation. As the husband continues the emotional and mental abuse of his wife, she will begin to withdraw. She will lose her desire to even talk with her husband out of fear of being attacked, and feeling put down.
To objectively look at situations in our lives, we need to remove "us" from the picture. Better yet, if we can, put our self in the other person's shoes. Do you think this man's wife feels loved when he treats her like that? Does the fact that he believes he should be easier to understand give credibility to his cruel and hurtful attack on his wife? If this man really loves his wife, wouldn't the proper behavior to be exhibited toward her be one of patience and tolerance? So why would anyone treat somebody they love in such a way?
We can give all kinds of minor "surface" reasons, but the root is ALWAYS selfishness. We could say that the other person just never gets it, and we just get tired of trying. That root is selfishness. We could say that they have done so many hurtful things to me, so I just don't care anymore. That root is selfishness.
This realization was manifest in my life in a very profound way in the summer of 2010. I remember telling my wife, "I love you so much!" Her response forever changed my world. She told me, "It doesn't matter how you feel. It matters how I feel, and I don't feel loved." Wow! How true was that! How can we possibly love people as much as we can, and yet they still don't feel loved? If we love someone, shouldn't them knowing and feeling that love be the natural byproduct? If they don't feel loved, then that should raise the question to whether we really love them or not. If we do really love them, then what is preventing us from loving them in such a way that they know it and feel it? It is because we are not seeing things objectively, but rather only subjectively through our own selfish reality. We love ourself more.
Now what do you see? How many things are there throughout our lives where we have brutally hurt and attacked people in our lives, leaving deep wounds and pain? Our wives, our husbands, our children, our friends, our brothers, and our sisters have all suffered due to our selfishness. None of us are perfect, and none of us can say that we don't exhibit selfish behavior. This is the beginning.
Do not be overwhelmed with the regret, as genuine love and compassion will demand that we have great remorse. If we don't feel the weight, then one of two things is happening. Either we are not accepting accountability, or we are so cold and calloused that we no longer allow our self to feel. If we do not allow our self to feel, to open up and be real, then we can never move forward from where we are. Nobody will ever be able to get in to love us, and we will never be able to love. If our heart is broken from the pain of our failures, then there is great hope us! We are at the only place that true change happens. The point of brokeness and acceptance that finally makes us ready to move forward. Let it resenate within us, for this deep feeling is going to be the very catalyst that we will use to push us to limits never before thought possible. The truth of the pain we have caused, the desire to change it, and the willingness to do whatever it takes to make things different. Does it hurt bad enough that we are willing to do whatever it takes to set things right?
It is not our perception that is relevant at this point. It does not matter if we think we were right. It does not even matter if we were right. It does not matter if we can validate or justify our actions. This is a time of truth, reflection, and seeing things from another person's perspective. Here is a perfect example of our natural tendency...
A husband and wife, who obviously have made a commitment to love one another, often exhibit behavior that is damaging to one another. A man and a woman are so different from one another, that it requires great mutual effort in communication to continue to grow together. Since the woman DOES not think like her husband, he is going to have to be patient with her when trying to convey his thoughts and feelings. He may get frustrated though, maybe even angry, and may even say hurtful things to his wife. He might tell her she is dumb or that she just never gets it, and he may feel more than justified in feeling the way he does. He probably even believes that it is her that is the problem.
So far, this situation is subjective. We need to look at things objectively, in a simple matter of fact perspective. If we love someone, why would we ever want to belittle them and make them feel stupid? Yet alone tell them such! Isn't that an oxymoron? We do it all the time though, and don't even realize it. This is a toxic situation. As the husband continues the emotional and mental abuse of his wife, she will begin to withdraw. She will lose her desire to even talk with her husband out of fear of being attacked, and feeling put down.
To objectively look at situations in our lives, we need to remove "us" from the picture. Better yet, if we can, put our self in the other person's shoes. Do you think this man's wife feels loved when he treats her like that? Does the fact that he believes he should be easier to understand give credibility to his cruel and hurtful attack on his wife? If this man really loves his wife, wouldn't the proper behavior to be exhibited toward her be one of patience and tolerance? So why would anyone treat somebody they love in such a way?
We can give all kinds of minor "surface" reasons, but the root is ALWAYS selfishness. We could say that the other person just never gets it, and we just get tired of trying. That root is selfishness. We could say that they have done so many hurtful things to me, so I just don't care anymore. That root is selfishness.
This realization was manifest in my life in a very profound way in the summer of 2010. I remember telling my wife, "I love you so much!" Her response forever changed my world. She told me, "It doesn't matter how you feel. It matters how I feel, and I don't feel loved." Wow! How true was that! How can we possibly love people as much as we can, and yet they still don't feel loved? If we love someone, shouldn't them knowing and feeling that love be the natural byproduct? If they don't feel loved, then that should raise the question to whether we really love them or not. If we do really love them, then what is preventing us from loving them in such a way that they know it and feel it? It is because we are not seeing things objectively, but rather only subjectively through our own selfish reality. We love ourself more.
Now what do you see? How many things are there throughout our lives where we have brutally hurt and attacked people in our lives, leaving deep wounds and pain? Our wives, our husbands, our children, our friends, our brothers, and our sisters have all suffered due to our selfishness. None of us are perfect, and none of us can say that we don't exhibit selfish behavior. This is the beginning.
Do not be overwhelmed with the regret, as genuine love and compassion will demand that we have great remorse. If we don't feel the weight, then one of two things is happening. Either we are not accepting accountability, or we are so cold and calloused that we no longer allow our self to feel. If we do not allow our self to feel, to open up and be real, then we can never move forward from where we are. Nobody will ever be able to get in to love us, and we will never be able to love. If our heart is broken from the pain of our failures, then there is great hope us! We are at the only place that true change happens. The point of brokeness and acceptance that finally makes us ready to move forward. Let it resenate within us, for this deep feeling is going to be the very catalyst that we will use to push us to limits never before thought possible. The truth of the pain we have caused, the desire to change it, and the willingness to do whatever it takes to make things different. Does it hurt bad enough that we are willing to do whatever it takes to set things right?
Friday, October 19, 2012
Look Deeper!
This process is not a simple reflection. We are going to have to take time, and put in effort to be able to see things for what they really are. Don't give up! In the world we live in today, most of us don't think. We just don't know how, because we haven't been taught. Instead of owning and controlling our thoughts, we tend to be docile and allow things to own us.
Think about all the things we do for amusement. Watching TV, playing games, texting, and watching movies are all perfect examples. Think about how much time the average person spends in front of a television watching meaningless shows about nothing. Hours are lost just absorbing another person's ideas and propaganda, and most of the content viewed does not promote any real processing of the information. We just suck it up like a sponge. Our minds are weak and darkened by the lack of use.
Muse means "to think". The word amusement literally means "to not think". If we spend so much time not thinking, is it really any wonder that we are not used to the exertion of thought? The evolution theory states that we are getting bigger, better, and smarter. I believe the opposite is true. We are getting dumber, weaker, and more lethargic. Things are not getting better. We continue to become technologically advanced, but that is to our own demise. We no longer think for ourselves, so how can that be an improvement?
Our mind is a muscle. If we don't exercise it, can we really expect it to function at its fullest capacity? What happens when we don't lift weights, when we don't put our muscles to use? They become weak and only operate within the parameter of their frequent application. In order to increase the use and ability of our muscles, we MUST exercise them. We don't just wake up one day and find that we can lift much more than we previously could. It is a process which requires hard work, discipline, and commitment to achieve desired gains. This process of becoming cognitively aware, my friends, is the same in nature. After all, we are talking about a muscle.
As we are examining our self, our life, we need to consider something that will help us see things you have missed in the past. As we begin to accept truths about life, about who we are, we begin to realize that EVERY single thing that has ever gone wrong in our lives are ALL a direct result of selfishness. Think about this for a minute. When our pride is hurt, we respond irrationally by saying or doing things that are contrary to what we want out of life. We say hurtful things to our wife, or yell at our kids when "we" feel hurt or overwhelmed. We do something that could be harmful to another person, physically or emotionally, because we aren't thinking about them. We are only thinking about us.
This is fact. Every single one of us falls into this category. This is innate behavior for all of us, though the extent obviously varies by the person. We may even do compassionate things at times for others, but the selfishness thrives deep within us. We must come to terms with this truth before we can move forward. EVERYTHING is all about us, and herein lies the core of our problems. Why would we lie to someone we love, hence showing such blatant disrespect? Because we don't really care how we hurt that person. We care about us more. Why would you cheat on the person you love, whether it is physically, emotional, or just in your mind? Because we are putting our needs or desires before our spouse's needs and desires.
Can you see it? Does this make sense? Why do we do what we do? I promise you that it is because "it is all about us". So often people are depressed, unmotivated, and hopeless. The institutions of our world will tell us that it is because of some event, or some other person, and tell us that we are validated in our current state of mind. That is a lie. These symptoms are a RESULT of OUR response to some event, or some other person. Depression... Lack of Motivation... Hopelessness... These are huge hurtles for someone to overcome, especially if we can't even see the cause.
All three of these states of being exist because of selfishness. They are simply the manifestation of a big pity party we are having for our self because of something that happened. Poor us. Poor me. We MUST come to a true and clear perspective of who we are, and why we are that way, BEFORE we can do anything about it. Look deeper! Keep searching! Get rid of the excuses, the blame, the justification, and get real with our selves! Our lives depends on it.
Think about all the things we do for amusement. Watching TV, playing games, texting, and watching movies are all perfect examples. Think about how much time the average person spends in front of a television watching meaningless shows about nothing. Hours are lost just absorbing another person's ideas and propaganda, and most of the content viewed does not promote any real processing of the information. We just suck it up like a sponge. Our minds are weak and darkened by the lack of use.
Muse means "to think". The word amusement literally means "to not think". If we spend so much time not thinking, is it really any wonder that we are not used to the exertion of thought? The evolution theory states that we are getting bigger, better, and smarter. I believe the opposite is true. We are getting dumber, weaker, and more lethargic. Things are not getting better. We continue to become technologically advanced, but that is to our own demise. We no longer think for ourselves, so how can that be an improvement?
Our mind is a muscle. If we don't exercise it, can we really expect it to function at its fullest capacity? What happens when we don't lift weights, when we don't put our muscles to use? They become weak and only operate within the parameter of their frequent application. In order to increase the use and ability of our muscles, we MUST exercise them. We don't just wake up one day and find that we can lift much more than we previously could. It is a process which requires hard work, discipline, and commitment to achieve desired gains. This process of becoming cognitively aware, my friends, is the same in nature. After all, we are talking about a muscle.
As we are examining our self, our life, we need to consider something that will help us see things you have missed in the past. As we begin to accept truths about life, about who we are, we begin to realize that EVERY single thing that has ever gone wrong in our lives are ALL a direct result of selfishness. Think about this for a minute. When our pride is hurt, we respond irrationally by saying or doing things that are contrary to what we want out of life. We say hurtful things to our wife, or yell at our kids when "we" feel hurt or overwhelmed. We do something that could be harmful to another person, physically or emotionally, because we aren't thinking about them. We are only thinking about us.
This is fact. Every single one of us falls into this category. This is innate behavior for all of us, though the extent obviously varies by the person. We may even do compassionate things at times for others, but the selfishness thrives deep within us. We must come to terms with this truth before we can move forward. EVERYTHING is all about us, and herein lies the core of our problems. Why would we lie to someone we love, hence showing such blatant disrespect? Because we don't really care how we hurt that person. We care about us more. Why would you cheat on the person you love, whether it is physically, emotional, or just in your mind? Because we are putting our needs or desires before our spouse's needs and desires.
Can you see it? Does this make sense? Why do we do what we do? I promise you that it is because "it is all about us". So often people are depressed, unmotivated, and hopeless. The institutions of our world will tell us that it is because of some event, or some other person, and tell us that we are validated in our current state of mind. That is a lie. These symptoms are a RESULT of OUR response to some event, or some other person. Depression... Lack of Motivation... Hopelessness... These are huge hurtles for someone to overcome, especially if we can't even see the cause.
All three of these states of being exist because of selfishness. They are simply the manifestation of a big pity party we are having for our self because of something that happened. Poor us. Poor me. We MUST come to a true and clear perspective of who we are, and why we are that way, BEFORE we can do anything about it. Look deeper! Keep searching! Get rid of the excuses, the blame, the justification, and get real with our selves! Our lives depends on it.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Who Are You?
WHO ARE YOU? Most people cannot answer this fundamental
question. If someone does give an answer to this question, they most frequently
give a definition which is simply based subjectively on the things they do.
Examples would be things like: “I am a good husband.” “I am a good wife.” “I am
a basketball player.” “I am wealthy.” “I am poor.” None of these things are who
a person is. They are all external from who a person is.
What if your husband died? Then you are no longer a wife. If
you become injured and can no longer play sports, then you would no longer be a
basketball player. What if you lost your job, subsequently losing all of your
material possessions? You would no longer be wealthy. Based on subjectively
defining yourself on external circumstances, then at the loss of any of them
you become lost and undefined. What you have, and what you do, is NOT who you
are.
WHO ARE YOU? What a basic question that is so difficult to
answer! Most people never take the time to even search for this answer. How sad
that so many of us go through life blindly not even knowing who we are. How can
you change what you do not know?
If you keep getting in trouble with alcohol, then the world
wants to tell you that you have an alcohol problem. WRONG! The alcohol is NOT
the problem. We have institutions, classes, and legal systems that are
structured on this misperception. External “things” are not the problem. Guns
don’t kill people, people kill people. A person who gets in trouble for
drinking has no more of an alcohol problem than a person who shoots someone has
a gun problem!
The problem, and therein the solution, lies within the
person. You, who is reading this post, is looking for answers for a problem
that you probably haven’t even defined yet. I challenge you to take a good hard
look at who you are. What do you stand for? If you lie, then you are a liar.
Whether you get caught or not, because who you as a person is internal and NOT
based on external influence. Are you a cheater? Are you honest? Are you
faithful, or are you a flake? This is for you, so be honest with yourself!
Until you can honestly describe who you are, you cannot make
ANY real changes. Get real with yourself, and search out some honest answers.
Are you a prideful person? Are you humble? Once you have come to a concise
conclusion of who you really are, you can then examine yourself and decide if
you are happy with the answer.
We are masters of lying to ourselves. We very easily distort
reality, or simply hide from the truth, and place the blame and responsibility on
everything but ourselves. We blame a bad relationship on the other person. We
blame our job for our lack of success. We blame a rough day for our lack of
commitment to get off our butt and go to the gym.
The blame lies squarely on our shoulders. Quit the BS, and
get real! Accept accountability, accept the truth of who you are, and then do
something about it! You are responsible, and it is going to require you digging
deep to get anywhere! WHO ARE YOU?
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Drive
Most people want more from life, but unfortunately they are unsure how to bring their hopes and dreams to fruition. People tend to give up on ever expecting more than what they have, and as a result they live a miserable existence. I want to talk about that step. The step of change that most of us seem unable to take.
"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." - King Solomon. As I mentioned in my first blog, we always assume change is external. That is a lie. Change is done internally. It begins with how we think, and our thoughts become manifest through our actions. I will give some clear examples...
You and I could go to the gym together. We could have worked out for the same amount of time in our life. We could eat the same foods, and take the same supplements. I promise you though, that if my mind set is fixed on the goal, and yours isn't, my results will far supersede yours.
All the time I see people post things about getting in shape, losing weight, or getting healthier in general. The idea is great, but how to make those goals a reality most people just don't have. We all have the capacity, but it takes commitment, determination, and willingness to make sacrifices to manifest that capacity.
We are a docile people. We are lazy and complacent in general. We must fight to be alive, or accept that we will simply survive from day to day. Most of us don't realize that we are headed somewhere. We are never stagnant. Either we are progressively improving, or we are progressively deteriorating. There is no middle ground.
Just as a person starts to become depressed, they become lethargic, eating habits worsen, weight starts coming on, and health starts decreasing is a downward spiral, so is it when a person becomes energized, they begin to eat better, they start getting in shape, and their health gets better. You don't just change one aspect of your life. You change your life, and then the aspects change!!
Does life hurt bad enough, that you are finally at a place where you are willing to do whatever it takes to reach higher levels, or are you still perfectly content being apathetic? If you don't want to hear what I have to say, then you don't have to keep reading. If you want more, and you are ready to push yourself, then spend some time thinking. Examine yourself. Are you REALLY willing to do whatever it takes?
"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." - King Solomon. As I mentioned in my first blog, we always assume change is external. That is a lie. Change is done internally. It begins with how we think, and our thoughts become manifest through our actions. I will give some clear examples...
You and I could go to the gym together. We could have worked out for the same amount of time in our life. We could eat the same foods, and take the same supplements. I promise you though, that if my mind set is fixed on the goal, and yours isn't, my results will far supersede yours.
All the time I see people post things about getting in shape, losing weight, or getting healthier in general. The idea is great, but how to make those goals a reality most people just don't have. We all have the capacity, but it takes commitment, determination, and willingness to make sacrifices to manifest that capacity.
We are a docile people. We are lazy and complacent in general. We must fight to be alive, or accept that we will simply survive from day to day. Most of us don't realize that we are headed somewhere. We are never stagnant. Either we are progressively improving, or we are progressively deteriorating. There is no middle ground.
Just as a person starts to become depressed, they become lethargic, eating habits worsen, weight starts coming on, and health starts decreasing is a downward spiral, so is it when a person becomes energized, they begin to eat better, they start getting in shape, and their health gets better. You don't just change one aspect of your life. You change your life, and then the aspects change!!
Does life hurt bad enough, that you are finally at a place where you are willing to do whatever it takes to reach higher levels, or are you still perfectly content being apathetic? If you don't want to hear what I have to say, then you don't have to keep reading. If you want more, and you are ready to push yourself, then spend some time thinking. Examine yourself. Are you REALLY willing to do whatever it takes?
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Where to look?
Too easily we look around us, searching for something to place blame on for the way things are. We want to blame this person, or that person, for the way they treat us and the way we feel. We look at things external, and make them liable for things which are happening internally. How is this logical? A person thinks things will be better when they have more money, when they move, or when they meet Mr./Mrs. Right. The idea that a person's life is contingent upon anything external is a fallacy. Two people could experience the same situation, but both of them have a different perception. This perception is what gives credibility and justification to their emotions. It is the internal analysis, thought process, which determines the direction and outcome of a person's life...
I am new to writing, but I have been given something that I must share. I have a burning desire to encourage people, build them up, and see them live a life worth living. My heart bares a great burden for families, and I believe men are the key. Many people worry about changing the world, or the country, and I do agree that changes need to be made, but I believe change is accomplished one person at a time. It is to this end that I am persuaded to share the things I know with others who want to listen. One life impacts an exponential amount of people, for better or worse. I want to make a difference.
The things I will share are my personal experience, and my own struggles. None of this is hypothetical. I know these things, because I have lived them. All of my life I have pushed to be the best I could be. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to be good at basketball. I wanted to have a family. I wanted to be happy. I chased after these things that I thought would bring fulfillment to my life, but I always found that once I had closed my hand around my desire that it was not what I was hoping... So I kept searching.
I would change this thing, or that thing, expecting some amazing result. I have changed everything around me, but I could never attain what I was so desperately seeking... I had three serious relationships in my life, but all three failed. They were all three completely different women, and I was the only common denominator. I realized at this point that the problems in my life were internal, that I was the problem. This was the first step to being able to become who I am today. I had to know what the problem was before I could fix it, and I had tried to place that blame on everything else except me. Once I began to examine who I was, I could begin to ascertain what I had to do to make things better.
Listen. If you are in a place in your life where it hurts bad enough for you to do something about it, then I can share some amazing things with you. The very fact you just read this says a lot about what you want out of life. Are you willing to look at yourself? Are you willing to put in some work, and accept some truths? If you want change bad enough, and you are willing to do whatever it takes, then you can achieve anything.
I am new to writing, but I have been given something that I must share. I have a burning desire to encourage people, build them up, and see them live a life worth living. My heart bares a great burden for families, and I believe men are the key. Many people worry about changing the world, or the country, and I do agree that changes need to be made, but I believe change is accomplished one person at a time. It is to this end that I am persuaded to share the things I know with others who want to listen. One life impacts an exponential amount of people, for better or worse. I want to make a difference.
The things I will share are my personal experience, and my own struggles. None of this is hypothetical. I know these things, because I have lived them. All of my life I have pushed to be the best I could be. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to be good at basketball. I wanted to have a family. I wanted to be happy. I chased after these things that I thought would bring fulfillment to my life, but I always found that once I had closed my hand around my desire that it was not what I was hoping... So I kept searching.
I would change this thing, or that thing, expecting some amazing result. I have changed everything around me, but I could never attain what I was so desperately seeking... I had three serious relationships in my life, but all three failed. They were all three completely different women, and I was the only common denominator. I realized at this point that the problems in my life were internal, that I was the problem. This was the first step to being able to become who I am today. I had to know what the problem was before I could fix it, and I had tried to place that blame on everything else except me. Once I began to examine who I was, I could begin to ascertain what I had to do to make things better.
Listen. If you are in a place in your life where it hurts bad enough for you to do something about it, then I can share some amazing things with you. The very fact you just read this says a lot about what you want out of life. Are you willing to look at yourself? Are you willing to put in some work, and accept some truths? If you want change bad enough, and you are willing to do whatever it takes, then you can achieve anything.
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