Salvation

In 2011 I was sitting in ICC, the Idaho private prison, and a year into my genuine search of knowing God. I didn't have anyone to hold my hand and tell me what to believe. I had God and the Bible.

I had just tried to read Isaiah, but found the book was still concealed to me. I was at a place where I was searching out my salvation with fear and trembling. Was my salvation something I could lose, or was it secure? When God was with me in the past, did He then leave me when I had turned my back on Him? I had been baptized with the Holy Spirit before all of the drugs, sex, and guns, so had God withdrew His Spirit from me when I was in rebellion after that?

Since I couldn't understand Isaiah, I went to Jeremiah, still seeking the answers to my questions. What is the truth about my salvation? It was through the book of Jeremiah that God profoundly answered the questions I so desperately needed.

He showed me that I had always been His. He had created me to come to Him, and for this purpose I was born.

Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

John 3:34 NKJV

For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God does not give the Spirit by measure.

John 18:37 NKJV

Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then?” Jesus answered, “You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.”

Jeremiah 1:9-10 NKJV

Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: “Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, To root out and to pull down, To destroy and to throw down, To build and to plant.”

It was at this time that the faith given to me, that which is commonly called Calvinism, became solidified in my heart. God had created me for Him, and I had always been His. I was nothing more than His chosen vessel brought forth by Him and for Him, and He has pursued me with an everlasting love.

Ephesians 2:10 NKJV

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Jeremiah 1:11-12 NKJV

Moreover the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Jeremiah, what do you see?” And I said, “I see a branch of an almond tree.” Then the Lord said to me, “You have seen well, for I am ready to perform My word.”

Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you."

From this point forward no man would ever move me from these truths, and God has only continued to build on them. It was with this understanding that I came to know who I am in Christ. After this God opened up the book of Isaiah to me, and I was able understand everything I read.

Romans 9:6-8 NKJV

But it is not that the word of God has taken no effect. For they are not all Israel who are of Israel, nor are  they all children because they are the seed of Abraham; but, “In Isaac your seed shall be called.” That is, those who are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God; but the children of the promise are counted as the seed.