Gratitude Instead of Entitlement

I must confess that the hardest thing to overlook in a person is our sense of self-entitlement and pride. I think there is nothing more repulsive and disgusting than a person who just sucks everything from everyone around them, and then feels that it is owed to them anyway. I see this come up in my children at times, and I feel this is one of the biggest challenges we face as parents. To destroy the sense of self-entitlement while re-assuring them that they are deeply loved and valued is so important. NOBODY owes us ANYTHING!! If someone takes the time to do the smallest thing for us, we should be thankful. What lies in our flesh is absolutely repulsive, and all the world around us feeds into it. The root cause of everything that has ever gone wrong in our lives is DIRECTLY caused by selfishness. Let us guard against it, but more importantly let us teach our children to know gratitude and be thankful.

To Be Head of Your Household

If you are facing difficult times in your marriage right, are going through a divorce, or are divorced I want you to take something to heart. If you have children, then do not take lightly how loudly your actions are speaking to them as you endure these difficult times. We can justify whatever we want, but it does not change the truth. For us men... Well, I will just talk first hand so that maybe it is easier to see looking at another person's life. I know that right now my daughter is watching her daddy. She is learning from me how a man should treat her. She is learning from me what commitment, or lack there of, looks like. She is learning whether God truly makes a difference, and she is learning about love and family. My son too is watching me. He is learning all the same, but for him I am teaching him how to love his wife and family. The choices and actions I take as relevant to my family will have a far reaching impact for generations. This being said... Consider carefully the choices you are making. I want my daughter to appreciate and expect her husband to be committed and fight for his family. I want my son to know what a husband loving his wife as Jesus loves the Church looks like. I refuse to pass along chains to my children, but am willing to set the bar and break those chains. I want the best for them. This is not all about you or me, and LOVE IS A CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to love, you have to. We must see more than ourselves in every situation.

Purpose

I share what I share because my privacy is of no great relevance. I do not seek affirmation or honor from men, but rather from God. I know that I am not alone in my struggles, and I know that by sharing what I have been given it may help someone else who is enduring similar situations. My only intent is to share what God has placed on my heart, and the details are His to figure out. If you hear something in my words, it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with you and God. As a servant of the one true King, my obligation is to obey. I trust Him with everything I am, so I submit to His will. I know it is easy for people to read the things I write, post, or support, and then to pass judgment on me. So be it. God knows my heart. The things I share may not be for that person. However, the person whom God intended to reach will be reached. This is why I do what I do. This is why I am who I am. I desire the best for each person God has placed in my circle of influence. If I kept my mouth shut about the greatest news in the all of creation, how much could I really care about any one of you?

Isaiah 55:11
“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

Check Your Self

Here is another huge indicator of our maturity, or lack thereof. Have you ever gotten mad at someone because they don't do something the way you would? Putting the toilet paper on the roller thingy... Squeezing toothpaste out of the tube... Mowing the yard... Thinking and processing... Maybe they don't go as fast as you might like them to... These are all indicators that we think more highly of our self, and that we are judging the other person based on our standard of us being supreme. One that is mature will be more patient and understanding, knowing that we are all different. Examine yourself.

To Be a Father and Husband

There is something God has written on my heart with great conviction. It is what His love is supposed to look like in our lives. We all have people in our lives that we love, and we love them the best that we can. In my life I came to terms with the reality that the best love I had to give to those I cared most about was not enough. What is on the inside always comes out, no matter how diligently we strive to make things different. I was a selfish boy who cared more for me than for those I loved. It was that selfishness that corrupted the love I sought to give. What came out was the best I had to give, but it was really all about me.

It was this truth that God used to bring me to Himself. I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I didn’t want to hurt my wife. I didn’t want to hurt my kids. The turning of my heart was a moment when I cried out to God with complete sincerity to just make me the man my wife and kids needed me to be. I didn’t ask Him to help me. I didn’t ask Him to make things better for me. I asked Him to do whatever it took for me to be the man they needed me to be. This was the beginning of my new life.

God showed me that the only way I could love my family the way they need to be loved is if I would lay down my life. I had to die so that they could live. I had to take up my cross so that I could love them the way they need to be loved. I realized that only through defeating selfishness could I give of myself in such a manner that my love would be genuinely felt by the recipient.

It is the love that God showed me when He suffered the crucifixion that has changed my life. While I was still in rebellion against Him, living selfishly for myself and hurting the people around me, He still loved me. He pursued me in spite of myself, and never gave up on me. It is this love, unconditional and sacrificial, that I wanted to be able to give to my family. By yielding to God, He has shown me what love is supposed to look like. After all, God is love.

I cannot say that I know much, but I can say that I know God. I know love for the first time in my life. Because I know love, I know hope. Without God I am nothing but a selfish vacuum where my best is short of ever being what I would want it to be. With God, it is Him working through me. He can and will do what I cannot. Love is sacrifice. Love is everything, and without love there is nothing. I am bound to what God has shown me. Though the doubts and fears come, God always moves to keep me on track. He is faithful even when I am not.