Family and the Truth

Our earthly family is NOT our eternal family, and this life is NOT about family. In fact, Jesus came to bring a sword as the goats are divided from the sheep. If a person doesn't value Jesus above EVERYTHING, including their family, they have NOTHING to do with Him.

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.  For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’;  and ‘a man’s enemies  will be  those of his  own  household.’  He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me."
Matthew 10:34-37 NKJV

Our eternal family are those whom Jesus fills with His Holy Spirit, causing them to be born again.

Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?”  And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”
Matthew 12:47-50 NKJV

Broken Home

I am a single father, and both of my children currently are suffering the consequences of my failures as they are being raised in broken homes. They both live with their mothers, but I make every effort to be as involved in their lives as I possibly can. I see my daughter nearly every day, and she stays the night with me a couple days a week. My son doesn’t like to stay with me because he is 12, and has his own routine at home.

I know that my son is at the age that he is ready for me to really disciple him, and help him grow into the man God made him to be. I must be diligent to pour into his life, and thankfully his mother desires for me to do so. Being a father is a huge responsibility before God, and I know that He will hold me accountable for how I manage this great task. Just as my son needs me to disciple him and teach him how to be a man, I know that my role in my daughter’s life is just as important. She needs my love and affection.

I am setting the standard, and raising the banner for my children. The world is so concerned about our children’s education, their self-esteem, and their future ability to earn an income that the most important things are absolutely ignored. Is there really anything greater we can teach our children than the knowledge they need for salvation, character, and what life and love should look like?

There are times that the weight of what they are going through is heavy on my heart. Right now they are so confused about what love is, about what family should be, about what the roles of a wife and mother are, and the roles of what a father and husband are. My heart breaks even as I type this. I know what the answers are. I know what it should look like. However, in God’s great wisdom He has determined that this is the plan for now.

I know that tomorrow isn’t even promised though. Each day I rest in the sovereignty and great love of the living God. I know that if I will lay my life down to Him in Jesus name that He will show Himself powerful on my behalf. My children are worth dying for. I am willing to trust the Lord and lay down my life. I believe the promises God makes. Not only do I believe them, but I see His hand in their lives. There is no doubt that God is present in my family.

“As for Me,” says the Lord, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the Lord, “from this time and forevermore.”

-Isaiah 59:21

The desires of my heart are to be married, preferably to my daughter’s mother, and to have a family that glorifies God. God has demanded me to continue to love my daughter’s mom as Jesus loves the church. Not only do I feel as though He loves her enough to expend my life to reach her, but I know that everyone is watching. The people on the outside want to see what God has done in me, and if He is true, and my children are watching as I show them what a man is called to do. I know that I am the one who is responsible for my family before God, and I do not take my role lightly. A man’s family is his number one ministry.

Faith without works is dead. Jesus says that “only one thing is needed”. I believe Him. I have tried my hardest to make my life and family be what I knew it could on my own, and I failed miserably. I do not want to fail, nor do I want any more regrets. I stand before my God in humility, and cry out to Him day and night to make good on His promises as I follow Jesus for all that I am worth. Only He can do what I cannot. I am but a man.

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

-Luke 10:41-42

^“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

-Matthew 6:32-33

Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.
-1 Timothy 4:15-16

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars.”

-2 Chronicles 16:9

 

US MEN ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR FAMILIES

Listen up men. We are the ones DIRECTLY responsible for our families. Period. Here is the skinny. Call it what you want, but here it is. Even though Eve gave Adam the fruit to eat in the garden, guess who was held responsible? The man is the head of the house, and our family is our responsibility.

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.

- Genesis 3:6

 That is how it factually went down. Who was responsible?

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—

- Romans 5:12

This verse says NOTHING about Eve. Adam failed to stand up and protect his family. Sin entered the world through Adam’s failure as a man.

Is there really any wonder why the world is in such a state today? Where are the men!?

For I looked, and there was no man;
I looked among them, but there was no counselor,
Who, when I asked of them, could answer a word.
Indeed they are all worthless;
Their works are nothing;
Their molded images are wind and confusion.

- Isaiah 41:28

Because we fail our families as men, because we are selfish boys, God moves His hand mightily against us. The consequences of our failures are dire and severe. God is pretty clear about the consequences.

Therefore I will give their wives to others,
And their fields to those who will inherit them;
Because from the least even to the greatest
Everyone is given to covetousness;
From the prophet even to the priest
Everyone deals falsely.

- Jeremiah 8:10

Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.

- 2 Samuel 12:11

You shall betroth a wife, but another man shall lie with her; you shall build a house, but you shall not dwell in it; you shall plant a vineyard, but shall not gather its grapes.

- Deuteronomy 28:30

Are there problems in your home? Be a man. It is your responsibility to take care of and lead your family. God will not hold your wife responsible for your failures.

“I will not punish your daughters when they commit harlotry,
Nor your brides when they commit adultery;
For the men themselves go apart with harlots,
And offer sacrifices with a ritual harlot.
Therefore people who do not understand will be trampled.
- Hosea 4:14

To Be Head of Your Household

If you are facing difficult times in your marriage right, are going through a divorce, or are divorced I want you to take something to heart. If you have children, then do not take lightly how loudly your actions are speaking to them as you endure these difficult times. We can justify whatever we want, but it does not change the truth. For us men... Well, I will just talk first hand so that maybe it is easier to see looking at another person's life. I know that right now my daughter is watching her daddy. She is learning from me how a man should treat her. She is learning from me what commitment, or lack there of, looks like. She is learning whether God truly makes a difference, and she is learning about love and family. My son too is watching me. He is learning all the same, but for him I am teaching him how to love his wife and family. The choices and actions I take as relevant to my family will have a far reaching impact for generations. This being said... Consider carefully the choices you are making. I want my daughter to appreciate and expect her husband to be committed and fight for his family. I want my son to know what a husband loving his wife as Jesus loves the Church looks like. I refuse to pass along chains to my children, but am willing to set the bar and break those chains. I want the best for them. This is not all about you or me, and LOVE IS A CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to love, you have to. We must see more than ourselves in every situation.