Marriage

I know so many people that are going through divorce, thinking about it, or have gone through it. I want to share what God shown me about divorce.

As I sat in the Idaho private prison I found out that the woman I had married was seeing another man. My immediate response was to completely discard her and everything about her. I was just going to find someone else. About two hours after I had gotten off the phone with her, I picked up my Bible. The very first verses I read were these...

Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.

² The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.

³ And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”

⁴ They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”

⁵ And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. ⁶ But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’^[a] 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh’; ^[b] so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹ Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

¹⁰ In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. ¹¹ So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. ¹² And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
-Mark 10:1-12

God is absolutely sovereign. It was no accident that I picked my Bible up after that conversation and this was the first thing I read. In these verses God showed me, with great conviction, that it was not my place to walk away from the woman God had given me to love. In fact, God showed me that the only reason why I would do such a thing would be out of pure selfishness. If it hurt too bad, or if I just couldn't forgive her (Because of the hardness of your heart), then God did allow for divorce.

However, God had brought me to a place in my life where I was changed. He had showed me that it was the call of a Christian, a true follower of Christ, to "take up our cross and follow him". Jesus bore all of the shame and pain of the cross, all the way to death, for the love He had for His Church. The church is the "bride" of Christ, and us men are to love our wives as Jesus loves the Church. I would have to take up my cross, bare the shame and pain, and pour out my life in love to the wife God had given me.

Many people ask questions about whether we were walking with God when we were married, but that is a foolish question. How does that matter? Either God is God all of the time, or He isn't. God is God all of the time. If any one of us marries another, it is because God brought us together. If God joins something, it is not His intent for that union to be broke. It is only "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept". People, men or women, walk away from a marriage ONLY out of selfishness. Period.

My love for my wife is truly for her, who she really is. I want to see her in heaven with me, which means she must come to know Jesus Christ. This has absolutely nothing to do with me. God has made me to love her. It  is His love shining through me that she will see the love of God that has changed my life. I will not pretend to know how this will all play out, but I know my God. He has shown me what I must do, and I love Him enough to do it. It is not a love in my own strength in which I am to love her, for my own love is selfish and about me. It must by in God's love, which is truly about her.

I realize that many people cannot receive this, but this is what God has to say on the subject. Things have never seemed more bleak or hopeless in regards to reconciliation with my wife than they do now. Every day, in so many ways, the temptations come to just walk away. God holds me fast though. What kind of a man would I be if I walked away and gave up on my family anyways? If you are married, then know that God has joined you to your spouse. In spirit and in body. You are now one. You need to be all in!! If you truly love that person, then they deserve your all. If you are not willing to give it, then maybe you should re-evaluate your love for them. If you are a Christian, then you are without excuse. Pick up your cross, deny your self, and love your spouse for all you are worth. After all, that is a Christian by definition. May God bless your marriages!! Fight, and fight for all you are worth.